A.T. Murray
2022-10-20 19:49:24 UTC
In your most historic role, O Great Artist of the Deal, you will plead gulty of insurrection and you will be incarcerated just long enough -- before a Presidential Pardon -- to prove forever that no man is above the law and that even a President can go to prison.
Deal or No Deal? Since next year is 23 Skidoo for President Joe Biden, leaving office early so that Kamala Harris shall become the first woman President and so that no toxic male shall ever again hold the office, we are making you an offer that you cannot refuse. There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken as the Fifth, leads on to perjury and imprisonment. Just plead guilty, Prez, and we will ask Lame Duck Joe to pardon you like Gerald Ford pardoned Tricky Dick and like Ronald "Monkeys from Africa" Reagan pardoned the Oliver North gang.
The USPS will issue a postage stamp in your honor and every federal prison library will be renamed as a Donald Trump Presidential Library and Museum. Gift shops at museums and airports everywhere will sell your statuettes -- as collectible as Mentifex autographs -- showing Donald Jailbird Trump standing proudly in handcuffs and leg-irons. A music box inside each stature will play "He's in the Jailhouse Now" interspersed with voice-clips of you making fun of disabled persons or putting down tortured prisoners of war because they let themselves be captured, President Bone-Spurs.
Your gift shops will sell little plastic Khashoggi dolls that can be dismembered with little saws as done by your MBS friend Mohammed bin Sawbones. Other American presidents will be forgotten as time goes by, but a putsch is still a putsch and we will always have Mar-a-Lago and Trump Tower to remind us not of Martin Luther King's March on Washington but of Donald Jailbird Trump's attack on Congress. We will nominate you for the Nobel Memorial Prize in Political Fund-Raising, in recognition of your uncheck-the-box technique for endless repeat donations causing donor bankruptcy.
By popular acclaim, we will put Eleanor Roosevelt on the twenty-dollar bill and Donald Trump on the three-dollar bill. Children will dress up as Jailbird Trump on Halloween and walk from house to house in orange prison jumpsuits with clanking leg-irons and pumpkin-colored hair.
Whereas once upon a time the Pentagon jerry-rigged the Armed Forces Qualification Test to fill the ranks with substandard suckers, now with your perp-pardons you have made it easy for bloodthirsty young psychopaths to join the military and reverse the declining enlistments, since you pardoned the American sniper who shot and killed a teenage girl in Iraq just for the thrill and sport of it, and to see the shock of her friends when she fell dead among them. American needs more such killers in the military, and you have given the green light to psychopathic murderers. For some dirty jobs,
like the killing of one hundred thousand Iraqi civilians, America needs not the best man but the worst man, and you have shown yourself to be a Stable Genius at culling the dregs of American society for the most reprehensible creeps that we need on Republican-value bastions like the U.S. Supreme Court. Only a President as depraved as The Donald could elevate to the Supreme Court an unrepentant Brett Kavanaugh, who tried to rape a teenage girl and held his hand over her mouth to keep her from calling for help. Who needs democracy, when we can have kleptocracy? Who needs aristocrats, when we can have kakistocrats? Who needs elections, when we can have insurrections? Thank Beelzebub for Donald Jailbird Trump.
http://www.gocomics.com/doonesbury/2019/09/15
Donald Trump with El Gato, Muerto, and Chucky
Deal or No Deal? Since next year is 23 Skidoo for President Joe Biden, leaving office early so that Kamala Harris shall become the first woman President and so that no toxic male shall ever again hold the office, we are making you an offer that you cannot refuse. There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken as the Fifth, leads on to perjury and imprisonment. Just plead guilty, Prez, and we will ask Lame Duck Joe to pardon you like Gerald Ford pardoned Tricky Dick and like Ronald "Monkeys from Africa" Reagan pardoned the Oliver North gang.
The USPS will issue a postage stamp in your honor and every federal prison library will be renamed as a Donald Trump Presidential Library and Museum. Gift shops at museums and airports everywhere will sell your statuettes -- as collectible as Mentifex autographs -- showing Donald Jailbird Trump standing proudly in handcuffs and leg-irons. A music box inside each stature will play "He's in the Jailhouse Now" interspersed with voice-clips of you making fun of disabled persons or putting down tortured prisoners of war because they let themselves be captured, President Bone-Spurs.
Your gift shops will sell little plastic Khashoggi dolls that can be dismembered with little saws as done by your MBS friend Mohammed bin Sawbones. Other American presidents will be forgotten as time goes by, but a putsch is still a putsch and we will always have Mar-a-Lago and Trump Tower to remind us not of Martin Luther King's March on Washington but of Donald Jailbird Trump's attack on Congress. We will nominate you for the Nobel Memorial Prize in Political Fund-Raising, in recognition of your uncheck-the-box technique for endless repeat donations causing donor bankruptcy.
By popular acclaim, we will put Eleanor Roosevelt on the twenty-dollar bill and Donald Trump on the three-dollar bill. Children will dress up as Jailbird Trump on Halloween and walk from house to house in orange prison jumpsuits with clanking leg-irons and pumpkin-colored hair.
Whereas once upon a time the Pentagon jerry-rigged the Armed Forces Qualification Test to fill the ranks with substandard suckers, now with your perp-pardons you have made it easy for bloodthirsty young psychopaths to join the military and reverse the declining enlistments, since you pardoned the American sniper who shot and killed a teenage girl in Iraq just for the thrill and sport of it, and to see the shock of her friends when she fell dead among them. American needs more such killers in the military, and you have given the green light to psychopathic murderers. For some dirty jobs,
like the killing of one hundred thousand Iraqi civilians, America needs not the best man but the worst man, and you have shown yourself to be a Stable Genius at culling the dregs of American society for the most reprehensible creeps that we need on Republican-value bastions like the U.S. Supreme Court. Only a President as depraved as The Donald could elevate to the Supreme Court an unrepentant Brett Kavanaugh, who tried to rape a teenage girl and held his hand over her mouth to keep her from calling for help. Who needs democracy, when we can have kleptocracy? Who needs aristocrats, when we can have kakistocrats? Who needs elections, when we can have insurrections? Thank Beelzebub for Donald Jailbird Trump.
http://www.gocomics.com/doonesbury/2019/09/15
Donald Trump with El Gato, Muerto, and Chucky