A.T. Murray
2022-10-10 20:04:11 UTC
Trump in prison shows what happens when you stage an insurrection against the American Congress trying to certify a presidential election. Trump causes the death of five individuals, and his supporters try to lynch and hang Vice-president Mike Pence, while Trump watches it all on TV.
After being impeached twice, Trump goes on trial, is convicted and is sent to a
federal penitentiary. "Jail to the Chief" plays over the loudspeakers while a handcuffed Trump shuffles in his leg-irons into the office of Warden Brubaker, played by an aging Robert Redford.
The head of Trump's Secret Service detail, played by Clint Eastwood, holds his arm and keeps him from falling. Trump looks around the office and bellows, "I want to talk to The Man."
"I am The Man," replies Brubaker. "Your parole officer is here to explain
why you must serve out the rest of your sentence instead of living at the half-way house."
The parole officer, played by Tommy Lee Jones, steps forward and says, "What we have here is a failure to communicate. The prisoner was five minutes late coming back from his off-site job and failed to inform me of his tardiness."
"What job was the prisoner working at?" interrupts Brubaker.
"Sir, the prisoner was flipping burgers at a McDonald's."
Warden Brubaker turns to Prisoner Trump and says, "Would you like to work in the kitchen here at Club Fed?"
"No way, Warden Brubaker. I am going to stay in my cell and work on my new book, The Art of the Scam."
Brubaker shakes his head and and grunts, "Everybody works at my prison. Tomorrow you will eb sent out on a chain-gang to dig ditches along the highway. Guard, please escort President Trump to his prison cell."
The guard and six Secret Service agents walk with Trump down long corridors to the maximum security area of the prison. They stop at cell number 1600, and the guards introduce Trump to El Chapo, his cellmate. Two cells on either side of Trump and one cell across from Trump have ordinary doors instead of prison bars, because they are the living quarters of Trump's Secret Service detail, led by agent Callahan, played by Clint Eastwood, and his assistant, played by Jodie Foster.
During the first night, El Chapo whispers to Prisoner Trump, "I have a plan to get us out of here. There is a tunnel under our cell, and soon you will have a visitor who tells you how to access the tunnel. But why are you here in prison?"
"I fought the law and the law won," explains Trump.
The next day, after Trump gets back from working on the chain-gang, Warden Brubaker sends the agent played by Jodie Foster to Trump's cell with a message. "You have a visitor," says agent Jodie.
"Who?"
"The president of Mexico." The prison guard, played by Will Smith, escorts a cursing Trump and his S.S. detail to the visitation room. Along the way, when the Secret Service is not looking, the guard played by Will Smith slaps Trump across the face and says, "You give me any more guff and you're going in the Hole."
Trump sits down and speaks by telephone handset through the window with the visitor sitting across from him. "Mr. President," they both say to each other. The president of Mexico says to the twice-impeached and convicted president of America, "I have a message for your cellmate, my boss known as El Chapo, but first I want to thank you for releasing my right-hand man when he was arrested by your authorities while visiting Los Angeles."
"It was the least I could do, Señor El Presidente. You and I both know that the entire government of Mexico is one big drug cartel, and we apologize for mistakes made during the sham war on drugs. It's all Fake News, a big Witch Hunt."
"Apology accepted, you Gringo Presidente, but don't let it happen again, or you will swim with the fishes. Now go back to your cell and tell El Chapo that both of you will be liberated at midnight on Saturday when the floor of your cell opens up and you climb down to our railroad tunnel."
Trump and El Chapo do as instructed, and they are met at the other end of the tunnel by a taxi-driver played by Robert de Niro, and his passenger, played by Jennifer Lopez. The taxi driver tells El Chapo to sit in the back as his passenger, while the former passenger, J-Lo, and the former president, El-Do, are ordered to lie "spooning" in the trunk of the car. Trump whispers to J-Lo in the trunk of the taxi," If we were to meet under different circumstances, do you think...?"
J-Lo screams at Trump, "Shut your mouth, Gringo, and get your hand off my hip. When we get to Mexico, you will pay for calling us criminals and rapists."
http://www.gocomics.com/doonesbury/2019/09/15
"MR. FORMER PRESIDENT? TIME TO LEAVE, SIR"
After being impeached twice, Trump goes on trial, is convicted and is sent to a
federal penitentiary. "Jail to the Chief" plays over the loudspeakers while a handcuffed Trump shuffles in his leg-irons into the office of Warden Brubaker, played by an aging Robert Redford.
The head of Trump's Secret Service detail, played by Clint Eastwood, holds his arm and keeps him from falling. Trump looks around the office and bellows, "I want to talk to The Man."
"I am The Man," replies Brubaker. "Your parole officer is here to explain
why you must serve out the rest of your sentence instead of living at the half-way house."
The parole officer, played by Tommy Lee Jones, steps forward and says, "What we have here is a failure to communicate. The prisoner was five minutes late coming back from his off-site job and failed to inform me of his tardiness."
"What job was the prisoner working at?" interrupts Brubaker.
"Sir, the prisoner was flipping burgers at a McDonald's."
Warden Brubaker turns to Prisoner Trump and says, "Would you like to work in the kitchen here at Club Fed?"
"No way, Warden Brubaker. I am going to stay in my cell and work on my new book, The Art of the Scam."
Brubaker shakes his head and and grunts, "Everybody works at my prison. Tomorrow you will eb sent out on a chain-gang to dig ditches along the highway. Guard, please escort President Trump to his prison cell."
The guard and six Secret Service agents walk with Trump down long corridors to the maximum security area of the prison. They stop at cell number 1600, and the guards introduce Trump to El Chapo, his cellmate. Two cells on either side of Trump and one cell across from Trump have ordinary doors instead of prison bars, because they are the living quarters of Trump's Secret Service detail, led by agent Callahan, played by Clint Eastwood, and his assistant, played by Jodie Foster.
During the first night, El Chapo whispers to Prisoner Trump, "I have a plan to get us out of here. There is a tunnel under our cell, and soon you will have a visitor who tells you how to access the tunnel. But why are you here in prison?"
"I fought the law and the law won," explains Trump.
The next day, after Trump gets back from working on the chain-gang, Warden Brubaker sends the agent played by Jodie Foster to Trump's cell with a message. "You have a visitor," says agent Jodie.
"Who?"
"The president of Mexico." The prison guard, played by Will Smith, escorts a cursing Trump and his S.S. detail to the visitation room. Along the way, when the Secret Service is not looking, the guard played by Will Smith slaps Trump across the face and says, "You give me any more guff and you're going in the Hole."
Trump sits down and speaks by telephone handset through the window with the visitor sitting across from him. "Mr. President," they both say to each other. The president of Mexico says to the twice-impeached and convicted president of America, "I have a message for your cellmate, my boss known as El Chapo, but first I want to thank you for releasing my right-hand man when he was arrested by your authorities while visiting Los Angeles."
"It was the least I could do, Señor El Presidente. You and I both know that the entire government of Mexico is one big drug cartel, and we apologize for mistakes made during the sham war on drugs. It's all Fake News, a big Witch Hunt."
"Apology accepted, you Gringo Presidente, but don't let it happen again, or you will swim with the fishes. Now go back to your cell and tell El Chapo that both of you will be liberated at midnight on Saturday when the floor of your cell opens up and you climb down to our railroad tunnel."
Trump and El Chapo do as instructed, and they are met at the other end of the tunnel by a taxi-driver played by Robert de Niro, and his passenger, played by Jennifer Lopez. The taxi driver tells El Chapo to sit in the back as his passenger, while the former passenger, J-Lo, and the former president, El-Do, are ordered to lie "spooning" in the trunk of the car. Trump whispers to J-Lo in the trunk of the taxi," If we were to meet under different circumstances, do you think...?"
J-Lo screams at Trump, "Shut your mouth, Gringo, and get your hand off my hip. When we get to Mexico, you will pay for calling us criminals and rapists."
http://www.gocomics.com/doonesbury/2019/09/15
"MR. FORMER PRESIDENT? TIME TO LEAVE, SIR"